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STEVEN A.N.Q.L. DAVEY'S FAVORITE BEST AND WORST PICK-UP LINES
(GAMMA-ALPHA ZONE 7)
317 - FAVORITE BEST AND WORST PICK-UP LINES

BEST PICK-UP LINES...
 

	[Staring at breasts]  "Cold out isn't it?”
	[Female at the copy machine]  Reproducing, eh? Mind if I help?
	[Grab her ass...]  Pardon me, is this seat taken?
	[Lick your finger, then touch you and your 'friend's' shoulder]  How about you and I go back to my place and get out of these wet clothes?
	[Tapping your leg or thigh]  You just think this is my leg.
	[With hands on shoulders]  Oh, those are shoulder blades, I thought they were wings.
	[Look at his/her label. When they say, "What are you doing?"]     (Response 1) Checking to see if you were made in heaven; or      (Response 2) Checking to see if you're the right size!
	All those curves, and me with no brakes.
	Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!
	Anything drugs can do, I can do with my tongue!
	Are those space pants?  Cuz’ your ass is out of this world!

	Are you from Tennessee?  Because you are the only ten I see!
	Are you looking for Mr. Right, or Mr. Right Now?
	Are you lost ma'am?  Because heaven's a long way from here.
	Are you O.K.?  Because heaven's a long fall from here.
	Are you religious? Cause I'm the answer to all your prayers!
	Are you SURE you're wearing make-up?
	Are your legs tired? Because you have been running thro my mind.
	Ask girl if she likes jewelry. Then grab your nuts and say, Then suck this, it's a gem!
	At the dinner table, if you eat together, pick up the bread and ask, Wanna roll?
	Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home without me!
	Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel!
	Baby, you look better and better each day...and tonight, you look like tomorrow!
	Baby, you with those curves and me with no brakes! Mmmmm
	Beauty is only a light switch away...
	Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?"] I want to call my mom and tell he I just met the girl of my dreams. OR: I want to call your mother and thank her.
	Can I borrow a quarter? Cause my mom told me to call home when I met the girl of my dreams.
	Can I buy you a drink, or would you just like the money?
	Can I call an ambulance? [Why?] When I saw you my heart stopped!
	Can I flirt with you?
	Can I have directions? (to where?) To your heart!
	Can I see your tan lines?
	Chicks dig me - I wear coloured underwear!
	Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I need to walk around the room again?
	Do you believe in one night stands?
	Do you have a boyfriend? Well, when you want a MANfriend, come and talk to me.
	Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend? [No.] Are you taking applications?
	Do you have a library card? Good, cause I wanna check you out!
	Do you have a map?  I just get lost in your eyes.
	Do you have any Italian in you?  Would you like some?
	Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job?  No! D'ya wanna do lunch?
	Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation?  No, huh...So you want to go somewhere and talk?
	Do you know what'd look good on you?  Me.
	Do you know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly colour coordinated?
	Do you sleep on your front? Do you mind if I do?  or Do you sleep on your stomach? [No] Can I?
	Do you think that God is a homosexual?  Well I think that he must have loved men when he made you.
	Do you wash your panties with Windex?  Cuz I keep seeing myself in them.
	Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?
	Either way, I'm going to have you tonight, so you might as well be there.
	Ever have sex at the zoo? Really? How about with a human being?
	Excuse me, are you on the pill?
	Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!!
	Excuse me, but I'm a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared a cab home together?
	Excuse me, ma'am, is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?
	Excuse me, why is your drink glowing?
	Excuse me, you have some lipstick on your tooth, mind if I lick it off?
	Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
	Fuck me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss me?
	Girl, you look so good, I could put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit!
	Go up to a girl and tell her she has nice legs....then ask would she mind if you named them. She says ok, and you say ok this one is Thanksgiving and that one is Christmas.....would you mind if I visited between the holidays?
	Good looking waiter / waitress pouring a drink: Say when!  Customer: As soon as I finish this drink.
	Hand out cards saying: "Smile if you want to sleep with me" and watch them hold back their laughter.
	Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?
	Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? (Pull your pockets inside out....) Would you like to?
	Have you seen (any movie)? Would you like to?
	Hello there, beautiful. I hope that's not a sanitary napkin poking out of your purse.
	Hello, Susie. Your mom couldn't make it this afternoon, she asked me to pick you up and take you home. My, what a pretty dress.
	Her: What do you think of this (dress, sweater, blouse, etc.)  Him: I like nothing better.
	Here's a quarter....call your roomate and tell her you won't be coming home tonight!
	Hey babe, wanna get lucky?
	Hey babe, wanna see me make an easy fifty bucks?
	Hey Baby! I'd like to use your thighs as earmuffs.
	Hey baby! Wanna go get some pizza and screw? What you don't like pizza?
	Hey baby, are you a glover? NO? Well, I am, wanna wear me?
	Hey baby, can I tickle your belly-button from the inside?
	Hey baby, wanna lock crotches and swap gravy?
	Hey baby, wanna play carnival? That's where you sit on my face and I guess your age and weight.
	Hey baby, wanna play lion? OK. You go kneel right there and I'll throw you my meat.
	Hey baby, wanna play train conductor? OK. You sit on my face and I'll Chew, chew, chew! (choo!)
	Hey baby, what's your sign? All you can eat?
	Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on!
	Hey baby, you smell, let's take a shower together!
	Hey baby, you want to see something swell?
	Hey, baby, the word of the day is "legs". Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
	Hey, didn't we go to different schools together?
	Hey, don't I know you? Yeah, you're the girl with the beautiful smile!
	Hey, here's the word for the day: legs. Whatdya say we go upstairs and spread the word?!
	Hey, weren't you Miss Virginia last year?
	Hi there. Do you swallow?
	Hi! I'm Big Brother, and I've been watching you!
	Hi, can I buy you a car?
	Hi, can I buy you a house with a white picket fence.
	Hi, can I buy you several drinks?
	Hi, do you want to have my children? (assuming the answer is 'no') , OK then, can we just practice?
	Hi, I'm "trisexual".  I'll try anything once!
	Hi, I'm conducting a feel test to see how many women here have pierced nipples...
	Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.
	Hi, my name is {name}. How do you like me so far?
	Hi, the voices in my head told me to come talk to you!
	Hi, we're taking a survey and I need your phone number. If you give it to me, I'll call you and tell you the results.
	How about you and I go back to my place and get out of these wet clothes?
	How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up?
	How do you like your eggs cooked? Why? Well I just wanted to know what to make for you in the morning!
	I am a student of love. Here's my card.
	I can sense that you're a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little.
	I didn't know that angels could fly so low!
	I hope you know CPR, 'cause you take my breath away.
	I know a great way to burn off the calories from that pastry you just ate.
	I know milk does a body good, but baby, how much have you been drinking?
	I like every muscle in your body, especially mine.
	I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

	I love you. I want to marry you. Now let's fuck.
	I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
	I really want you to meet my parents, they have a Summer home in Morocco and live in Vegas for the Winter.
	I saw you at the party last weekend, and you look kind of interesting... Let's meet sometime...
	I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
	I think you are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen... on a Wednesday!
	I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hands.
	I was sitting here holding this cigarette and I realized I'd rather be holding you.
	I would kill or die to make love to you!
	I'd look good on you!
	If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
	If I follow you home, will you keep me?
	If I gave you a sexy negligee, would there be anything in it for me?
	If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
	If I was Elvis, would you screw me?
	If it is true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
	If you want me, don't shake me, or wake me, just take me.
	If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you.
	If your parents hadn't met I would be a very unhappy man right now!
	I'll bet you 10 bucks I could get all your clothes off in 30 seconds...
	I’m in the process of writing a telephone book. May I have your number?
	I'm new in town, could I get directions to your place?
	I'm not trying anything, I always put my hands there.
	I'm on fire baby, can I run through your sprinkler?
	I'm really sorry about Al.  It was a lovely funeral. You look ravishing in black, did you know that? What you need now is a nice backrub. Are the straps too tight, darling? How tragic. How very, very tragic.
	In the produce department: How can you tell if these things are ripe?
	Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
	Is your father a thief? Because he stole the stars from the skies and put them in your eyes!
	It seems like if I'm in a fairy tale. {"Why?"} Because I see a beautiful princess in front of me.
	I've got an itch honey. Lower. Lower. In. Out.
	I've got the ship, you've got the harbor...what say we tie up for the night?
	I've gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade!
	I've had a pretty bad day, and it usually makes me feel better to see a pretty girl/boy smile. So, would you smile for me?
	I've had quite a bit to drink tonight and you're beginning to look pretty good!
	Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.
	Lie down. I think I love you.
	May I please rest my head on your shoulder?
	My face is leaving in 10 minutes... are you gonna be on it or not?
	My friend and I have a bet that you won't take off your blouse in a public place.
	My lenses turn dark in the sunshine of your love.
	My name is ______. Just remember that, so you'll know what to scream later.
	My name's [your name], but you can call me "lover."
	My throat hurts at bit. Would you like to keep it warm with your tongue?
	Nice shoes.  Wanna fuck / sleep together?
	Nice to meet you, I'm (your name) and you are...gorgeous!
	Oh, you're a bird watcher....(Whip out your unit and ask) Well, would you take this for a swallow?
	Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?
	Pardon me, are you in heat?!
	Pardon me, I was just about to go home and masturbate, and I was wondering if you would mind if I fantasized about you?
	Roses are red, leaves are green. I like your legs and what's in between.
	Say, that's a nice [dress/shirt/outfit/article of clothing]. Can I talk you out of it?
	Screw me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Gretchen?
	Sex is a killer.  Wanna die happy?
	She: (to passing man) Do you have the time?  Him: Do you have the energy?
	She: Gee, I really enjoyed myself tonight!  He: Me too. Maybe we could let our bodies enjoy each other sometime!
	Sit on my lap and well talk about the first thing that pops up!
	So... How am I doin'?
	Stand back, I'm a doctor! You go get an ambulance and I'll loosen her clothes.
	Stand back, I'm a police officer! You go call for backup and I'll frisk her!
	Stand still so I can pick you up!
	Take an icecube to the bar, smash it and say: "Now that I've broke the ice, will you sleep with me?
	That dress/shirt looks great on you...as a matter of fact, so would I.
	That dress/shirt would look great on the floor next to my bed.
	That entire outfit would look great on top of my crumpled heap of cloths on my bedroom floor.
	That shirt is very becoming on you; of course, if I were on you, I'd be coming, too.
	The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
	Walk over to a ladies table, take your dick out and say "Hey Charlie, anyone here you recognize?"
	Walk up to a lady at a social gathering (party, club, etc.) and simply ask, are you ready to go home now?
	Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy.
	Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot.
	Were your parents Greek gods? Because it takes two gods to make a goddess.
	What would you do if I kissed you right now?
	Where have you been all my life?
	Who's a nice girl doing in a place like this?
	Why don't you sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between the two of us.
	Why don't you surprise your roommate/parents and not go home tonight?
	Would you be my love buffet, so I can lay you out on a table and take what I want?!?
	Would you like Gin and plantonic, or would you prefer Scotch and sofa?
	Would you like to come over to my place later? You can bring some friends because my face seats five.
	Would you like to dance? No? I'm sorry you must have misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants.
	Would you like to have breakfast tomorrow? Should I nudge you or call you?
	Would you like to see me naked?
	Wow! Are those real?
	You have pretty eyeballs. Of course they'd be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls.
	You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
	You know what would look good on you? Me!
	You know, I never was to good at math...like if I put you and I together, I'd get 69.
	You know, I would die happy if I saw you naked just once!
	You know, I'd give you a piece of my mind, but I've got more of something else.
	You know, you've got the prettiest teeth I've ever dreamed of coming across.
	You look like a girl who has heard every single line in the book - so what's one more!
	You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar]  He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
	You: I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. You: Well then, please start.
	You: Tickle your ass with a feather? Her: What?! You: I said Particular nice weather?
	Your daddy must be a drug dealer, cuz you're dope.
	Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns!
	Your face or mine?
	Your warm eyes melt the iciness of my heart.
	You're cuter than a speckled pup.

WORST PICK-UP LINES...
 

	Are you a parking ticket?  You got "fine fine fine" written all over you!
	Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I'd like to be holding you tonight.
	Boy, are you flat!
	Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
	Do you come here often, or can you wait until I get you home?
	Do you have sex with strangers? Then allow me to introduce myself!
	Do you like music?(Yes) Good, I've got a great stereo in my car!
	Do you really think I'm as sexy as Mr. Spock?
	Do you want to dance, No? Well I guess a blowjob is out of the question.
	Excuse me, but don't I know you from the clinic?
	Excuse me, do you wanna fuck, or should I apologize.
	Excuse me, is that semen in your hair?

	Excuse me.  Have I fucked you yet?
	Excuse me...do you have a band-aid? I scraped my knees when I fell for you.
	Fuck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Mylanta?
	Got any tattoos you wanna show me?
	Haven’t I seen you someplace before?
	Hey babe...wanna get lucky?
	Hey baby! Wanna boogie with me?
	Hey baby! You look like you could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.
	Hey baby, what’s your sign? Caution, slippery when wet, dangerous curves ahead, yield?
	Hi, I'm a necrophiliac, how good are you at playing dead?
	Hi, my name is Pogo, want to jump on my stick?
	Hi, my name is Skippy, like the peanut butter -- I stick to the roof of your mouth.
	How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?
	I always carry protection--You never know when a pen might leak.
	I bet you can't guess what I just had pierced?
	I can’t find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
	I couldn't help but notice you across the room. Can I suck on your toe?
	I don't need your number, I'll just finger you later.
	I don't usually hit on fat chicks, but you're kind of cute.
	I enjoy doing maintenance, you look like someone I would like to "tinker" around with.
	I hear the junior physics laboratory is gorgeous by moonlight.
	I just threw up!
	I like your hair.  Exactly what color is that?
	I lost my bed, can I borrow yours?
	I love your nose. How big is it?
	I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your Bed Rock.
	I may not be the best looking guy here, but I’m the only one talking to you.
	I want to floss with your pubic hair.
	I wanted to ask you what time it was, but I'd really rather have your phone number.
	I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face.
	I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Walmart, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.
	I’d like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.
	I’m a bird watcher and I’m looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?
	I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.
	If I had a rose for everytime I thought of you, I'd be walking in my garden all the time.
	If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
	If you didn't have breasts, I'd think you were a guy. Are you doing anything later?
	If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
	If you were a car, I would wax you and ride you all over town.
	If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.
	If you were words on a piece of paper, you'd be fine print!
	If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.
	I'll see what I can do about your grade.
	I'll show you mine, if you show me yours.
	I'm a recruiter. Why not come over to my place and be all you can be?
	I'm feeling off today, would you mind turning me on?
	I'm not too good at algebra, but doesn't U+I = 69?
	Is it hot in here or is it just you?
	Is Larry King great? Or what?
	Is that a keg in your pants?  ‘Cause I would love to tap that ass!
	Is that a mirror in you pocket?  Because I can see myself in your pants.
	Is your name Gillette?  Cuz you're the best a man could get!
	Miss, if you've lost your virginity, can I have the package it came in?
	My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.
	My love for you is like the energizer bunny, it keeps going and going....
	My recipe for love is one cup of you, one cup of me, mead till hard, and served hot.
	Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag.
	Picture this.....you, me a bubble bath and a bottle of champagne.
	Roses are red, violets are blue, I like spaghetti, let’s go screw.
	Somebody farted! Lets get out of here.
	The fact that I'm missing my teeth just means that there's more room for your tongue.
	The word for the night is legs, legs go back to my room and spread the word.
	They say everyone has a star and yours must shine the brightest!
	Wanna Play House? You be the screen door and I'll slam you all night long.
	Want to do it right here on the floor?
	Was your dad a farmer? Cause you sure have great melons.
	Was your father a farmer? Because you sure have grown some nice melons!
	Was your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?
	What do you say we go behind a rock and get a little boulder?
	Would you like to dance, or can i just stomp on your feet right here?
	Would you like to see my 'distinguishing characteristics'?
	Would you meet me in the courtyard at midnight? I'd like to see which is more beautiful, you or the moonlight.
	Yo Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your Burger King, you treat me right, and I'll do it your way right away.
	Yo! Bitch! Come Here!
	Yo. You'll do.
	You are like Nando's... a hot bird with a greasy box.
	You be the tree, and I'll wrap you like a Koala.
	You know what they say about the size of man's calculator.
	You know, I can go 6 hours nonstop. Even longer if I'm with someone.
	You look just like a hooker I know in Detroit.
	You must be from Pearl Harbor, cause baby you’re the Bomb.
	You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.
	You must be Jelly, cause jam don’t shake like that.
	You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you!
	You should be in TV commercials. They use plain looking women too.
	Your body must be VISA, because you're everywhere I want to be.
	Your father must be Michaelangelo, because you are a work of art.
	Your in luck.  I've got two tickets to Wrestlemania.
	Your name must be Campbell because you are mmmm mmmmm good!
	Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!
	Your name must be Summer because you're making me hot.
	Your parents must be retarded...you are really special.
	Your zits look good.
	You're good at math right? Is 69 a perfect square?
	You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.

DISCLAIMER NOTICE 01:  This list is a compilation from various sources over an extended period of time.  Copyright © acknowledgements are extended to all persons / groups who previously documented; distributed; published; and/or used these pick-up lines.  Only one or two of my original pick-up lines are included in this compilation.  Alterations, edits, and/or grammatical corrections may have been made for my own taste / edification.

DISCLAIMER NOTICE 02:  The lines were placed either in the best or worst list based on my own experiences of which ones have or have not worked in the past or based on my expectations of what will work best for me in the future.

DISCLAIMER NOTICE 03:  Success or failure of any of these pick-up lines may be dependent on hundreds (possibly millions) of controllable and/or uncontrollable factors.  Your results when using any of these pick-up lines may vary greatly.  Use them at YOUR OWN RISK!!!
 
 

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